But, I want to tell you something, the Republicans, they're not taking this scandal lightly. They are very concerned about this new scandal, yes, they are. But, on the bright side, it doesn't involve...
The New York Times says that John McCain had a close, personal relationship with a beautiful, young, female lobbyist. Do you believe this? Think about it. A senator, who's a Republican having sex wit...
But I'm not buying this. I don't believe this story. I think this is a cynical attempt by the McCain campaign to make their candidate appear youthful and vigorous. I think they made the whole thing u...
"Anyway, John McCain said yesterday he was disappointed with the story. His friend, Rudy Giuliani, said he was very upset by the story. I tell you, you know who was really angry? Mitt Romney. He said...
"No, they say this woman traveled around with McCain on his campaign stops, and she also flew aboard his private jet. Do you know what you call a young woman traveling around with a 71-year-old man? ...
"The New York Times alleging that John McCain had an inappropriate relationship with a young female lobbyist. I haven't seen McCain this angry since 'Matlock' was canceled." --Jay Leno
"Well, you know who's thrilled that Nader is back in the race? John McCain. He's not the oldest guy anymore." --Jay Leno
"We're learning more and more information about that Republican debate the other night. Apparently, the Republicans were really paranoid about security at the debate. Security was very, very high. To...
"The province of Kosovo on Sunday declared independence from Serbia. Prompting Hillary Clinton to ask, 'So, who gets those delegates?'" --Bill Maher
This week, footage surfaced of Senator Ted Kennedy singing in Spanish to a Latino group. Yeah, there was an awkward moment when someone in the crowd pointed at Kennedy's head and said, 'Look, the pin...
Hillary's speeches may not be exciting, but, by God, every tired, cliched, coma-inducing word is original. Except that they're not, that's the thing. You know, politicians, they all steal. ... In her...
"They have debated so much that they are now debating about debating. Did you see this? A lot of this debate was about the power of words. Hillary said, 'Actions speak louder than words,' Then Obama ...
"How many saw the debate? ... This was the 19th debate these people have had, the Democrats. They are dragging this thing out longer than 'Project Runway.' Next week they're going to have a reunion s...
Anyway, the New York Times did it again today. Did you see the paper today? They released a story suggesting Hillary was sleeping with Bill. Now, come on. There's only so much you can believe." --Jay...
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama had another big debate last night. ... It was good. And Clinton accused Obama of plagiarism. Obama denied that what he did was plagiarism. You know, look, I don't wan...
"Things getting nasty now between the Clinton and Obama campaigns. They've been so civil for a while. Now it's getting nasty. Check this out, Hillary Clinton's campaign has been circulating a photo o...